When creating your guests list, you tend to ask yourself several questions when it comes to trimming the fat, inviting co-workers, people not RSVPing, ect.
The Knot has great answers to several of our question
If invited guests do not respond to a formal wedding invitation, even though a response card was supplied, should we call them to find out if they will come? Or can we assume that they're not coming?
As far as final head count goes, you should never assume. Call to see if they're coming. You never know -- maybe they think they sent the response card but it may be hiding under a pile of mail. If calling is a problem, assume that they are coming, and make sure there’s food and seats for them. It's better to have extra grub and room than to have neglected guests wondering where to sit!
Who should be invited to the postwedding brunch? My future in-laws would like to host one, but they would like to invite business associates who are not wedding guests. I disagree! Would it be more appropriate to have a second reception once we return from our honeymoon?
Usually the postwedding brunch is for the couple's families and any wedding guests that are still around or in town. It's a winding-down party, when the newly married bride and groom get to say a final thank-you to their guests and spend a little more time with loved ones. And you're right: It's not appropriate to have business associates that didn't attend the wedding at this gathering. It should be a low-key affair for the two of you. A second reception once you're back from your honeymoon is a better idea.
I have a wedding budget that allows for about 150 guests, but my fiance and I have so many friends that our current list already exceeds 250! I keep looking at it and just can't cut any names without feeling terrible. How can we trim our wedding guest list without the guilt?
Rest assured that a bulging-at-the-seams guest list is a common wedding planning occurrence, and can be remedied somewhat painlessly. You are probably feeling so excited about sharing this joyous occasion with everyone you know that you just can't bear to leave anyone off the list. But, truth be told, most of us can't afford to invite everyone we know to our weddings, so start trimming! First, go over your list with your fiance and put each guest into category A or B. The As are the absolute must-invites, and likely include your family and closest friends. The B list is for all of those remaining. Now weed out your B list by asking yourself some questions: How close are you with this person? When was the last time you saw or spoke to this person? Would having him or her there on your wedding day really make or break your enjoyment? Based on your answers, you should be able to significantly reduce your overall list.
Other ways to consider cutting back: Leave off old high school or college friends whom you're pretty sure you'll never see again; second and third cousins whose names you can barely remember; and your parents' extras (unless, of course, your parents are footing the bill). Make your wedding adults-only (skip anyone under 18); invite single people sans guests (and seat them together so they'll mix and mingle); and don't feel obligated to invite coworkers or business associates. Lastly, don't feel pressured to invite people just because you were invited to their weddings. You may still feel bad about cutting people, but the reality is, it's one of the surest ways to save lots of money and have the wedding of your dreams.
How do we inform guests that only adults 18 and over are invited to our reception? Is it okay to write "adult reception" on the invitations?
It's completely legitimate to want an adults-only reception, especially for an evening affair. And most parents of young children will jump at the chance for a night out without the kids. Even so, this is a sensitive topic, and putting "adult reception" on invites is not the answer. It seems like the easiest way to deal, but it's a little too in-your-face, so you should take a more subtle tack. First, tell your parents, wedding party, and other close relatives and friends, so they can spread the word if any guests ask them.
Second, the people whose names are on your invitations are the only people invited to the wedding (i.e., "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe" means just the couple; "The Doe Family" means little Suzie can come too). Most guests will take note of this and RSVP for just themselves. Others are not so observant and will RSVP that three guests will attend, even though only two were invited. This is how you'll know if they think children (or random other people, for that matter) can come.
The next step is to call them and explain that because of "budget constraints" (always the best excuse, even if it's not true) you decided to invite only adults. If you meet with anger or exasperation -- and you might -- don't back down. It's your decision as to who's invited to the wedding. Whatever you do, don't make exceptions. Don't let Suzie tag along just to get off the phone with Jane Doe -- otherwise little Johnny's parents will notice.
This seems hard, but it's only awkward because many guests do not gracefully accept the fact that their kids aren't invited. Try to understand that some may be genuinely surprised or hurt, and be understanding, but don't give in. If it becomes a real problem with a lot of guests, look into hiring a babysitter or two to care for kids during the reception. They can have a pizza party -- way cheaper than having them at the reception, and everyone will be happy.